Something Shocking
by Candelabra
Summary: It's not easy, living as a robot in solitude for several hundred years after your supposed death. One is bound to go a little crazy. Still, it has its perks - after all, Lelouch was never able to top Suzaku when he was human. SPOILERS, TENTACLE RAPE


**A/N: **-facepalm- I need to stop stalking the kink meme. Oh, yeah, and if you're wondering just where on earth this came from (aside from that it was requested on a kink meme) go look up Sora Kake Girl and Leopard, the LelouchRobot who can FRYYYYYYYY.

Oh, yeah, and MORE CRAAACK. Run away. Run far away.

**Disclaimer: **Thank the powers that be that it isn't mine.

* * *

_"Oi... what are you doing? You're not giving him Geass, are you?"_

_"No... I'm just showing him something shocking."_

* * *

He was falling through electric blue, not so much pulled by gravity as pushed by some unseen force through the swirling vortex. He thought he caught a familiar face staring at him in shock, once, but then that was gone too and it was all a whirl of colour and sound —

He came to himself standing in a strange metal-walled room, at the centre of which hovered a box-shaped object set at a tilt on one of its vertices. He blinked.

__

Where on earth...?

He took a step forward — and realized that he was no longer wearing his boots. In fact... he wasn't wearing his flight suit, either — he was completely naked.

Though there are few things more terrifying than being absolutely naked in an unfamiliar, wide-open room potentially filled with enemies just waiting to pounce, Suzaku didn't start panicking just yet. After all, even without a weapon he was pretty good at defending himself... and he wasn't so body-shy that he would balk at fighting hand-to-hand while clothesless. Nonetheless, he did find himself to be a little understandably uncomfortable at his position.

And was it just him, or was there a bit of a draft in here...?

Forcing himself to ignore the physical discomforts, Suzaku turned in a slow circle to better see his surroundings, alert to even the slightest noise. There was a low humming sound just on the edge of hearing, like that of a machine running quietly in the background.

When he could see no obvious exits to the place, he turned back to the centre. _How on earth does that thing stay up...?_ he wondered, and, deciding that he had nothing better to do, took a tentative step forward to investigate — there was a loud creaking sound from the floor.

"Who's there?" said a tense, deep, and strangely familiar voice. As Suzaku tensed, readying himself for a fight, the strange diamond-shaped object in the centre of the room turned a little — and then a lot, the 'face' of it widening and opening in such a way that he could see a red circle set in the centre of it.

__

What the —

"It... it _can't_ be!" said the — object? — in disbelief. The... he could only think of it as an _eye_, blinked twice in astonishment. "It's you! Suzaku!"

"Er... I'm sorry," said Suzaku, wondering if he was dreaming, "But, um, do I know you?"

Come to think of it, that voice sounded very, _very_ familiar. In fact, it almost sounded like... "... _Ze — _?" he began in disbelief, but the voice cut in, sounding both exasperated and incredibly, almost frighteningly happy.

"It's me! Lelouch!"

Suzaku opened his mouth, but could find no words to properly express his sentiments. Not that it mattered — the square-Lelouch-thing had bounded across to him from its place at the centre of the room and was now darting around him, staring at every inch of his (now quite uncomfortably bare) skin and babbling excitedly.

"Suzaku! Oh, my god, I can't believe it! You're here! I knew you'd come, after everything! You wouldn't leave me just like that — not like CC that bitch — I know I said I'd stay with her forever but implanting my soul into this thing is a bit much, I think — and oh my god you're _naked!" _And here it paused, the 'eye' opening incredibly wide and staring at him in such a way that Suzaku wanted, absurdly, to cover his private parts and scream 'PERVERT' at the top of his lungs.

Instead, he shut his mouth, swallowed, tilted his head on one side and said "... you're a... robot."

The thing — Lelouch? — blinked, startled out of whatever it had been thinking, and looked at him. "Aha... yes, yes." It sounded... uncomfortable? It made a noise like it was clearing its throat, and added a little wistfully. "Yes... I have been for a couple hundred years now..."

_A couple hundred years?!_ "What? Le - Lelouch, what on earth is going on here? Is this a, a dream or something?"

"Why, do you often appear before me naked and utterly at my mercy in your dreams?" This was said with some interest.

To his horror, Suzaku found himself blushing. "I — n-no! Anyway, that has nothing to do with — !"

"_'That'_?" repeated Lelouch-the-robot, sounding highly amused and — somehow — worryingly eager. "You mean you _do_?"

"That is... I mean... no I do not, and even if I did it wouldn't mean anything because there's no way you'd ever top me!" he gasped and shut his mouth, his cheeks flaming, hardly able to believe that he'd just spouted something so incriminating.

That does it, he thought wildly, this has to be a dream. A really, really weird dream.

Lelouch-the-robot had drawn back a little. "Ohoho!" it said suddenly, a dark laugh that sounded disturbingly similar to Zero, "I may never have had the strength to top you in my human body — but _now!_" And it drew itself up, looking rather menacing.

Suzaku swallowed. "Erm... you're a square," he said quietly. "I don't see how you could — a-anyway that's not really the point, where am — ?"

"JUST A SQUARE?!" bellowed Lelouch-the-robot, sounding both hurt and outraged. Suzaku covered his ears, wondering if this really was the stoic friend he remembered — though spending a few hundred years as a solitary cube-shaped robot might make anyone crack a little. "I... I'll have you know that I can do _tons_ of things! I can cook, and, and clean," _Oh, maybe it really is him, _"This entire ship only moves because of me! I control it, I control _everything_ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I can even FLY!"

Suzaku winced. "Oh, cool. That's great," he said in an effort to get the robot to lower its voice.

Lelouch-the-robot paid no attention. "Everything on this ship belongs to me! Even now, you are actually within my 'body' — oh my," it cut itself off, quieting, turning this way and that in an almost embarrassed manner, "That sounds rather suggestive, doesn't it? _Within my body_ indeed... but no!" it rallied. " _I_ am going to top _you_ this time!"

__

Waitaminute, 'this time'? What's he talking about?

_Does that mean — in the future — wait, no, this can't be real — _

"Therefore..." concluded Lelouch-the-robot rather darkly, and Suzaku's attention was drawn to the sound of something moving on the other side of the room. He turned to see several long tentacle-looking metal tube-things slithering across the ground.

"What..." he began, and then his eyes widened as a horrible thought occurred to him.

Lelouch-the-robot laughed darkly as the floor tilted to flip Suzaku over on his back and metal cuffs appeared to strap his wrists and ankles to its surface. "Indeed, it is exactly what you think, my dear friend..." it mused almost calmly, moving closer to peer at his face with its huge red eye. Suzaku struggled in vain with the cuffs, and stared at the metal face of his friend-from-a-few-hundred-years-ago in growing terror.

Lelouch-the-robot laughed again, and moved away, blinking down at him triumphantly. "Now, all the conditions have been met!" it cried, and the tube-things moved quickly across the floor.

"At last... at last!" continued the robot in a tone of great gloating as the metal tentacles slithered across Suzaku's body, bringing an unwilling flush of pleasure to his cheeks, "I finally have you at my mercy! Trembling... obedient... helpless in your pleasure!"

Well, not so much obedient, perhaps, but definitely the other two, decided Suzaku, gritting his teeth and shutting his eyes. There was something undoubtedly wrong about being turned on by metal tube things feeling up his nether regions.

"Yes, yes... _finally_, I'm going to stick something in _you_!" finished Lelouch-the-robot, and Suzaku decided that he was never going to bring up this dream around anyone, ever. Not even paraphrased to edit out the more humiliating bits and tease Lelouch about being a neurotic, crazy, square robot-thing.

"Oh, wait," said Lelouch-the-robot, sounding suddenly deflated. Through a haze of disgusted pleasure, Suzaku opened his eyes to look at it. It was hovering just over his legs, looking a bit depressed as it gazed down at his shameful erection. "I... I have you like this, all sweaty and panting and begging," _(I'm not begging,_ thought Suzaku, though the other two were true enough) "And, and... I don't even have the parts to enjoy it properly! I HAVE FAILED AS A MAN!" it finished, sounding quite upset. The tentacles stopped their ministrations.

"Ah – er," said Suzaku, wondering if he was supposed to say something comforting in response to this. And damn it if he didn't want those things to keep touching him like that — his hips jerked up involuntarily, and Lelouch-the-robot tilted to one side.

"But... even if I cannot derive any physical pleasure from this..." it said in a considering tone of voice, and then, decisively, "Even so, I think I'm quite enjoying seeing you so helpless.

And without further ado, a tentacle was shoved firmly up his ass. Suzaku nearly screamed at the intrusion, but at least those things were touching him again...

There was a hazy period during which he wasn't quite aware of himself, only of the unblinking red of Lelouch-the-robot's eye, and there was much gasping, rubbing, and jerking — a burst of pleasure — "Oh no, you can't be leaving me so soon!" said Lelouch's voice, sounding dramatically bereaved and fading away as he travelled down tunnels of blue and electricity —

When he came back to himself he was in the Lancelot's cockpit holding tightly to the controls and staring blankly before him at a mountain scenery.

* * *

He was questioned several times about the incident at Narita, but he refused to tell anyone about it, even Euphie. At last he took to telling people that he had simply forgotten, and though the sad look in Euphie's eyes told him she knew it was a lie he remained convinced that the truth could never be known.

When he shot Zero's mask off in the cave at Kaminejima and saw the glowing red of Lelouch's Geass, he began to wonder if that dream had been so crazy after all.

When CC came to him right before the completion of Zero Requiem and told him she had an idea regarding the survival of Lelouch, he flat-out told her he would have no part in it and that if she had any sense she wouldn't dare consider such a thing. She raised her eyebrows at him and walked off without a word, leaving him wondering just how much she knew of what she'd 'shown' him.

* * *

**A/N: **Lol, I wrote tentacle porn. D=


End file.
